


Stargazing

by Suchabookwyrm



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bruce Banner Feels, Bruce Feels, F/M, Love, Natasha Romanov Feels, POV Bruce Banner, POV Natasha Romanov, Pining, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sad, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2019-07-29 17:26:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16268933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suchabookwyrm/pseuds/Suchabookwyrm
Summary: Bruce Banner has been MIA since Ultron. Two years and Nat has yet to move on.The sunset retreated further below the horizon, pink fading from her view. Out here the sky was bright, unaltered by man. Natural, uncomplicated, pure. Things she wished to be. Nat was proud of who she had become despite the trials she had endured, but she could never be proud of her past. Often she wished for a normal life. The kind of life that would never have led her down this path.Nat tucked her short blond hair back and pulled her legs into her chest. Looking at the sky out in nowhere Lebanon, she couldn't help but hope somewhere he could be looking at these same stars. Sitting in silence thinking of her.A million questions flowed through her head, the same as every night. Was he even alive? If so, where? Did he think of her as well? Why did it matter if he did? Nat wiped away the tears forming in her eyes. Two years. Two goddamn years and she was still pinning for the bastard.“Get it together Romanoff,” She muttered to herself resting her head on her knees.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an extremely short piece on Nat's state with Bruce gone. Post civil war. I love this ship and am so not okay with the reunion we got in Infinity war. I like to imagine Nat hides her emotions from everyone but Steve can see through it. After all, he's been exactly where she is.

The sunset retreated further below the horizon, pink fading from her view. Out here the sky was bright, unaltered by man. Natural, uncomplicated, pure. Things she wished to be. Nat was proud of who she had become despite the trials she had endured, but she could never be proud of her past. Often she wished for a normal life. The kind of life that would never have led her down this path. 

Nat tucked her short blond hair back and pulled her legs into her chest. Looking at the sky out in nowhere Lebanon, she couldn't help but hope somewhere he could be looking at these same stars. Sitting in silence, thinking of her.

A million questions flowed through her head, the same as every night. Was he even alive? If so, where? Did he think of her as well? Why did it matter if he did? Nat wiped away the tears forming in her eyes. Two years. Two goddamn years and she was still pinning for the bastard.

“Get it together, Romanoff,” She muttered to herself, resting her head on her knees.

“Care if I join you?” Steve asked, sitting down by her side. 

She shook her head and looked back at the stars. She got rusty whenever she thought of him. Nat hadn’t even heard Steve approach. The man was gone, and he was still going to get her killed.

“I miss ‘em too,” Steve said after the silence grew too much.

“Them?”

“Yeah, all of ‘em. Hell, even Tony.” He chuckled and nudged her with his shoulder. “I know what it’s like. you know you can talk to me.”

“You know what it's like to have the man you love bail on you? To look for two years, not even knowing if he’s alive. Wondering why he’s not looking for you if he is? Some small part of you, the worst part, wondering if everything would be easier if he were dead?”

“Nat.”

“Shit, Steve I’m sorry. I get so damned worked up about him; I wasn’t thinking.” She dropped her head and sighed. “I have no clue where to start. Two years and not a single lead. I pulled all my strings, used every favor I’ve ever earned. Nothing.”

“We'll find him. Nat, I promise we will.”

“How? How can you promise?”

“I found Bucky.” He stood, placing a hand on her shoulder, “No matter what, we’ll never stop looking.” Steve walked back the way he came leaving her to the stars.

This wasn’t the first time Steve had caught her in a compromising position, but it had to be the last.  

“You’re a goddamn soldier Romanoff,” She told herself, pushing off the ground, “so get your shit together and act like it.” Nat aimlessly wondered the grounds. She wasn’t some school girl waisting her time on a boy. She was a highly trained weapon, nothing else should matter but the mission. 

_ You love him.  _

Her thought betrayed her. No matter what they returned to Bruce, in truth they never leave him. 

_ So what if I do? I’m not the one who left. _

_ You pushed him. _

_ I had no choice. _

_ He could have come back. _

_ He did it for you. _

_ I didn’t ask him to. _

_ You didn’t have to. _

_ I’ve waited long enough. I’m done. It’s time to move on. _

_ You don't mean it. _

_ I have to. _

_ You’ll never forget him. _

_ I can try to. _

_ Like you tried for the past two years? _

_ Fuck you. _

She was going crazy. Literally insane. Here she was wondering an open field somewhere in Asia fighting with her goddamn brain. Nat wished she could say this was the first time. This is what he did to her. He wove his way into her mind, her heart. Just like he did all that time ago back in that farmhouse. 

Ultron was their mission. They had failed. Clint risked his family to keep the team safe. There was so much that should have occupied Nat’s thoughts, but instead, she was in that room with him. She thought they had a future, a chance at a semi-normal life. She’d told him things she’d never trusted anyone with. 

Before Nat had done what she was told. A killer, a spy following orders. Sheild was different. She had some freedom, she had friends, a purpose she could be proud of. But Shield was nothing more than Hydra, half her friends turned on her because she couldn't betray Steve, and again she was against the law. 

Often she wondered where he would have stood. Bruce would never sign the Hulk away to the government. He’d never let them tell him when to let go. Yet she believed he would have told Steve that they were taking it to far. To trust Tony to do the right thing. 

“What does it matter?” she asked the stars. “He didn't pick a side because he's gone.”

Stupid as it was she couldn’t let him go. Her lips ached to touch his again. Her ears strained to hear his voice. Eyes longing to find his in a crowded room. Hands searching for the warmth of his. She dropped back to the ground and laid her head on the damp grass. All those stars made her feel small, she wished she was with him. In her dreams, she was never alone. Only then was she certain he wanted her too. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’d expected to head back home, back to the tower. Get out of the way, maybe crash in his old room if it was still his. Not that he would’ve been able to sleep. Not with the fate of the world hanging on by a thread. But Tony was gone, so was the wizard, and all they’d left was the flip phone. After that everything happened so quickly. He grabbed the phone; got a message to Steve, and was ushered to some site upstate.
> 
> There was so much he still didn’t know. Where he was going, to start with, and where everyone was. Yes, the Avengers broke up like some boy band, but where did that leave everyone? Steve was in the wind, that much Bruce picked up. The rest could be waiting for his arrival or spread to the far corners of the globe.
> 
> James Rhodes stood outside the massive building his car pulled up to. Bruce jumped out as soon as the car stilled. He stumbled, tripping over his feet in his hurry.
> 
> “Rhodey,” Bruce called as he righted himself, “Please tell me- wait what happened to you.”
> 
> “Oh, these things?” he patted the brace on his legs. “I got a lot to catch you up on. Follow me.”
> 
> Or the one where Bruce freaks out over seeing Nat again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has been on my mind for a while now. I wasn't planning on doing a second chapter for this story, but I hate how everything between these two was handled in the movies. There was no connection, no explanation. I thought End game would give me some closure but well, if you've seen it you know it didn't.

He’d expected to head back home, back to the tower. Get out of the way, maybe crash in his old room if it was still his. Not that he would’ve been able to sleep. Not with the fate of the world hanging on by a thread. But Tony was gone, so was the wizard, and all they’d left was the flip phone. After that, everything happened so quickly. He grabbed the phone; got a message to Steve, and was ushered to some site upstate.

There was so much he still didn’t know. Where he was going, to start with, and where everyone was. Yes, the Avengers broke up like some boy band, but where did that leave everyone? Steve was in the wind, that much Bruce picked up. The rest could be waiting for his arrival or spread to the far corners of the globe.

James Rhodes stood outside the massive building his car pulled up to. Bruce jumped out as soon as the vehicle stilled. He stumbled, tripping over his feet in his hurry.

“Rhodey,” Bruce called as he righted himself, “Please tell me- wait what happened to you.”

“Oh, these things?” he patted the brace on his legs. “I got a lot to catch you up on. Follow me.”

The two walked in silence through the first few rooms of the facility. Bruce darted his eyes around, trying to take everything in.

“Welcome to the New Avengers Facility. Well, it’s been in use for three years now. Since just after the Sakovia incident.”

“Who’s all here?” Bruce pulled at the torn sleeve of the borrowed, oversized coat.

“Well,” Rhodey rubbed the back of his neck, “It’s just me right now, with Tony and the kid gone, and Vision MIA.”

“And the rest of the team?”

“Don’t know, off with Cap I would assume.”

“What do you mean? Tony said we broke up?”

“You’ve been gone for a long time, Bruce. Things are different” Rhodey slowly lowered into a chair in the corner. “After Sakovia, well things sorta fell apart. Wanda messed up. People got hurt. Cap’s friend Bucky, he came back, got blamed for some shit he didn’t do. It was bad Bruce. None of us were thinking straight. We fought each other. Like really fought. That's how I got these.” He patted his brace again. “Half left, the rest of us answer to the UN now.”

A loud beep emanated from another room, “I need to see to that. Seems like I’m in charge till we find Tony.”

Rhodey rose and left Bruce to his thoughts. Bruce dropped into the chair Rhodey just vacated. Three years. Three years he’d been gone. Been out of commission, hulked out. Now he was finally back, and she was gone. Gone off to who knows where because he hadn’t been there for her. Part of him wanted to blame her. Say that it was all her fault. She’d been the one to push him. He told her he couldn’t hulk out, that it wasn’t safe. He knew he’d lose himself. But she was right. As much as he wanted to grab her and run far away, run as fast as he could, he knew they weren’t made to leave people in danger. Not anymore. They both had too many demons to atone for.

Still, he couldn’t stop the fantasies of what the past three years could have been had she listened to him. Had they run away when she first asked — the two of them living anywhere but the States. Maybe Rome, Prague, it didn’t matter, because wherever life took them, they were together — walking hand in hand down some small town street. No looking over their shoulders. No hint of green in sight. No world they had to save.

“Get it together ” Bruce mumbled under his breath straightening the collar of his borrowed jacket.

None of it mattered, because she pushed him and he fled. None of it mattered because none of them would live past the end of the week. None of it mattered because he had seen Thanos. Seen what he was capable of. He just wanted to see her one more time before the end.

“How you holding up?” Rhody asked as he walked back into the room.

“How do you think?”

“Tony can handle himself.”

“It’s not Tony I’m worried about.”

“Then tell me what you are worried about.”

“It’s not- I can’t- You weren't there. You didn’t see what he did to the Asgardians, what he did to the Hulk. No one knows what he is capable of.”

“The Avengers have faced Aliens before. We beat Ultron.”

“We created Ultron.”

“And beat him,” Rhodey repeated.

“But the Avengers aren't here.”

“They will be, and I think that's what is really on your mind. We have time to save the world later, for now, let's talk about it.”

“What is there to talk about? I’ve been gone for three years. Whatever we might’ve had back then is gone. The Hulk took it from me.”

“She never stopped looking for you. Every moment between missions she’d search.”

“It’s been what two years since you saw her? She’s moved on. She had to.”

“Bruce, look at me. I’ve known Nat since the beginning of this whole mess. I’d never seen her act the way she did with you.”

Bruce sat there, not knowing what to say. He wanted Rhodey to be right but couldn’t get his hopes up. It would crush him. There were more important things to worry about than his love life. The world depended on him. He had seen Thanos, the only one on earth who had. A loud ringing broke the silence.

“That would be The General. Not looking forward to this talk. Let’s have you stay in here for now.” Rhodey exited, leaving Bruce to his whirlwind thoughts.

If luck were on his side, which it never was, She would arrive with Cap. He had everything to say to her. No right to say anything to her. The last three years were stolen from him. Glimpses of the Hulks time on Sakkar came to him slowly. In pieces like memories after a night of over-drinking. Nat had lived those years, traveled the globe with Steve, Sam, and Wanda if Rhody was right. She had a new life without him while he was stuck in the past. Stuck in a dying dream.

He could hear the muffled conversation between Rhodey and The General, whoever that would be. The noise grew, more voices joined. They were less muffled, not over a phone, or through some hologram. The time had come.

He walked to the next room as he heard Sam say, “Yeah. Well, the hotels weren't exactly five stars.”

“I think you look great.” Bruce paused and caught Nat’s eyes. “Yeah, I'm back.”

“Hi, Bruce,” Nat almost whispered.

“Nat.” Was all he could say as he looked into her eyes, trying to convey three years of feelings in one look.

“This is awkward.” Leave it to Sam to fuck up a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks for reading. Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


End file.
